Photographer Makes a ‘Socially Distanced’ Valentine’s Shoot With a Few Plot Twists

If you don’t have a pic like this, are you even a couple?

According to Alexa Machado: “We didn’t let social distancing stop us from a special Valentine’s Day couple’s photoshoot!

Thanks to the pandemic, I’ve been feeling touch-starved, so I got a little creative and came up with the perfect solution! All is fun and games… until two suitors show up!

The story: One day, you meet someone online who isn’t scared of your whack ideas; the next minute, you’re in a park meeting for the first time while tucking pool noodles in your shirts and flailing them around like you’re the tube man outside a car dealership.

And to top it off, you find out you live only like 7 minutes apart, and his work is right down the street from the second property you stay at in another town.”

More: Alexa Machado, Instagram, Facebook h/t: boredpanda

Gazing lovingly into his eyes as his detached hand feels up my leg

He tried to mask his feelings for me, alas to no avail

Running towards him in full elbow boob glory

His demonic shadow poetically reflects his true nature… however, I’m so in love that I find enjoyment in collecting his red flags

Nothing says effort like surprising your lover with cheap drugstore chocolates you bought at the checkout as an afterthought

He only bought them because they were on sale, but I’m too deep in denial not to be ecstatic

Enjoying face cuddles and praying I don’t have a latex allergy

We’re a beautiful rectangular noodle couple

Holding hands trying to look like I don’t regret wearing a dress that keeps sliding higher and higher up my thighs with no means to fix a potential wardrobe malfunction because although these arms are sexy as heck, they are not very functional

Uh oh, what’s that over yonder?

Another suitor?

I may or may not have invited them both to this shoot with the expectation that neither would show up. Oops

Boys, boys, boys. No need to fight

Suitor #2 makes a move while a group of onlookers contemplate contacting a psychiatric hospital

Uh oh

I already thought I was enlightened, but this is taking detachment to a whole new level

Brandishing his new gorgeous set of arms (I may be biased), Suitor #2 prepares to battle to the death for my love. You know, like Twilight, except instead of vampires and werewolves, it’s a nerd and another nerd